Nation Cruelly Reminded of Existence of Tulsi Gabbard Aug 28 Jeff Kowalsky/AFP via Getty Images UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans were reportedly furious on Tuesday after being cruelly reminded of Tulsi Gabbard’s existence. While millions more struggled to remember who Gabbard was, those who could place her were irate that Donald J. Trump had chosen to jog their memory in such a brutal manner. “Trump has done a lot of horrible things, like separating families at the border and botching the response to the pandemic,” said Tracy Klugian, a resident of Topeka, Kansas. “But reminding me that Tulsi Gabbard roams the Earth might be the most unforgivable.” “Bringing back memories of Tulsi Gabbard tells you all you need to know about Donald Trump,” said Carol Foyler of Portland, Maine. “The man is a sadist.” Harland Dorrinson of Akron, Ohio wondered why Trump would recruit Gabbard for his transition team, remarking, “Maybe she’s there to make RFK Jr. look sane.”