PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Hinting darkly that “there’s something going on,” on Friday Donald J. Trump demanded to see Taylor Swift’s birth certificate. “Shifty Swift has been in a lot of different countries this year,” he said. “People are saying that someone who was born here wouldn’t be in so many other countries, quite frankly.” Casting further doubt on her identity, Trump asserted, “She used to say she was a country singer, and suddenly she turned pop. I respect either one but she obviously doesn’t.” In perhaps his harshest attack, he questioned how many voters Swift could sway “because everyone knows I’m a much better singer.” |
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