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When I go to visit my father’s grave, there is a consistent ritual I follow: I buy flowers from the woman who is always there on the side of the road with her little stand/van outside of the cemetery. I drive down the same road in the cemetery and follow it looking for the familiar landmarks that lead me to where my father is buried. I make the walk, always careful where I step, out of respect and perhaps fear, lest I disturb the dead. When I get to my father’s headstone, I immediately tidy up the surroundings because that’s what he would expect. I arrange the fresh flowers around his grave, and then at last I sit and talk with my father. I tell him the latest about our family and the exploits of his fierce granddaughter, the little dog that has taken over our lives, and about me and my struggles and successes. After some tears and laughs, I walk back to my car, usually feeling better that I got to spend some time with him.
The story I’m telling isn’t unique to me; I’m certain many of you do and experience exactly the same thing. But there is something else I do: I read the headstones near my father’s grave. A cemetery, after all, is a history lesson written in stone. In the aggregate, the headstones tell the story of a birth of a nation and its communities; the waves of immigrants from places that rejected them, but came here and built something better. Individually, the headstones tell the story of family, suffering, and accomplishment. The headstones also sometimes tell the story of war.
A year ago, I did a video about my experience walking the beaches of Normandy and visiting the Normandy American Cemetery. Grief, gratitude, and history collapse together in that small corner of the world. But today, I discuss someone and something else.
Near my father’s grave is a headstone dedicated to a young man that died in World War II. The story told on his headstone is one of a man cut down in his youth. He was an aviator in a bomber shot down over Europe. His body was never recovered, but his family decided to consecrate a small piece of ground thousands of miles from where he died to honor his sacrifice almost eighty years ago. I am engrossed by this young man who I never knew. I want to know his story. What motivated him to join the fight like so many others back then? Why did he volunteer to take on such a dangerous role?[i] Did he love? How did his family and friends cope after his tragic death at such a young age? I also think about what he could have accomplished if only he had survived those terrible years.
His headstone also reduces war to a basic question: Did our country have a good enough reason to ask him to sacrifice his life for something bigger? As Americans, we all know the social contract between our government and the men and women who serve. If the government decides to put them in harm’s way, it is (supposed to be) done reluctantly and only when necessary.
With World War II, I have no doubt this contract was kept. No matter all of the lies and attempts at revisionist history, Tucker Carlson and his Nazi apologist “historian” friends can’t talk themselves out of the reality that humanity was well-served by the courage and willingness of the free world to fight and die in a war against evil. To borrow from Sir Winston Churchill – who Carlson and other similar fools hold in particular contempt because, gosh forbid, he stood up to Hitler – this was one of the free world’s finest hours.
I have come to believe that over the past two decades the contract has been breached. Regardless of intention, our leaders have all too often been willing to risk the lives of our service-members without clear intention, purpose, or necessity. The justifications – and trillions of dollars expended in the process – are usually couched in abstract terminology such as “regional stability” or “national interests,” but for the most part, they don’t withstand strict scrutiny. More worrisome, the costs of these forever wars are being borne by a small number of Americans who put their lives on hold and volunteer for the fight.
And this continues to the present. On this Memorial Day, our men and women in uniform are still in danger. But this time, it is at the hands of a lawless administration.
One thing any intellectually honest person can admit is that Convicted Felon Donald Trump honors no contract. He is a “head’s I win, tails I win” kind of guy. For Trump supporters, the lies they tell themselves to justify his dishonesty is that “he’s a fighter” or “he is a smart businessman,” even though they remain lies. But importantly, if you think that when it comes to our military, Cadet “Bone Spurs” Trump acts and feels differently, you’d be mistaken. This is the guy who reportedly called our dead soldiers and prisoners of war “losers” and “suckers” and questioned why they ever volunteered to fight in the first place. At bottom, Felon Trump couldn’t care less about putting our men and women in uniform in harm’s way. Rather, the United States military is just another toy for him.
The illegal war against Iran – regardless of whatever foolish name DUI-hire Pete Kegsbreath asked ChatGPT to call it – has never been authorized in compliance with the Constitution or the War Powers Act. But in the face of this outright disregard for our laws, where is the GOP that possesses a power trifecta in DC? Nowhere to be found. That the Republican-controlled Congress let this happen in direct disregard of the actual will of the American people is alarming and more proof of their total abdication to Trump. Poll after poll shows deep exhaustion with endless war. Americans across ideological lines have watched twenty years of blood and trillions of dollars produce instability, trauma, and cemeteries filled with young people who never got to grow old. Yet somehow, once again, a small minority of political actors who never seem personally at risk when the bill comes due are pulling us down into quicksand.
That alone should enrage us. But what is even more maddening is what is now coming into focus: The likely end game for all this Trump-branded stupidity is the very agreement Trump abandoned during his first administration. The Obama-era Iran nuclear deal went into effect in 2016. The agreement was imperfect and oversold in many respects. But viewed narrowly, the agreement imposed constraints on Iran’s nuclear program and created mechanisms for international monitoring. Trump rejected the agreement when he first came to office – not because he had a superior replacement – but simply because it bore Obama’s name. Now, after years of instability and performative toughness, Trump has circled back to the same basic framework that Obama put in place a decade ago. This is not just madness, this is tragedy when you consider the lives lost – both American and others – over the past ten years.
So, on this Memorial Day, our feckless friends on the Right are confronted by an uncomfortable reality: If the end result was always going to be what was achieved in 2016, then why were the lives of our service-members put at risk - AND LOST - with untold billions of dollars burned? You will never get a truthful answer from these losers. So I return to the young man at the beginning of my story. His headstone, aside from leaving me with unanswered questions, also serves as a blunt warning: Do not waste us or let our lives be lost in vain.
[i] During World War II, bomber crews suffered some of the highest casualty rates of any Allied service members. In the European theater, the U.S. Eighth Air Force lost more than 26,000 airmen, while RAF Bomber Command suffered approximately 55,000 deaths, representing roughly 44% of its aircrew. During the height of the bombing campaign in 1943, American bomber crews often faced casualty rates so severe that completing a 25-mission tour was nearly impossible.
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