"Dow Down, April Fools Up"

This is real. This is dangerous. And unless something changes fast, the only ones laughing will be the ultra-rich, while everyday Americans get stuck with the bill.

Michael Cohen Apr 1

Rise and shine…it’s April Fools’ Day. But while most of us are dodging harmless pranks from coworkers or family, the real joke is unfolding in real time, and the punchline is America’s economy. Tomorrow, April 2, marks Trump’s Economic D-Day, a day that’s already sending shockwaves through the markets. And guess what? It’s no prank; it’s an absolute disaster.

Wall Street isn’t laughing. Goldman Sachs has issued a dire warning, signaling massive market losses, surging recession fears, and an economic outlook so grim it makes the 2008 collapse look like a minor inconvenience. Dow futures? Plummeting. Nasdaq? Tanking. S&P? Free falling. And yet, Trump; whose business acumen includes bankrupting casinos and running a fake university, wants us to believe this is all part of his “genius” economic strategy. Spoiler alert: It’s not.

Let’s break it down: GDP is down 1%, unemployment has climbed to 4.5%, and core inflation has surged to 3.5%. Consumer confidence? At rock bottom. Recession odds? A staggering 35%; and rising. The average American is feeling the squeeze, but Trump and his billionaire cronies? They’ll be just fine, sipping champagne on their private jets while middle-class families struggle to put food on the table.

The cruelest part? This economic crisis isn’t the result of some global catastrophe. It’s a self-inflicted wound, courtesy of an administration that governs via executive order, cable news soundbites, and half-baked policies scribbled on Mar-a-Lago napkins. The so-called “America First” agenda has once again left America last, proving that economic policy should never be dictated by a guy who can’t even define what stagflation is.

Even the wolves of Wall Street; who usually cheer for tax cuts and deregulation, are in full panic mode. When Goldman Sachs, a firm that would sell its own grandmother for a profit, is warning that Trump’s latest economic move is a recipe for recession, you know we’re in serious trouble. But what’s Trump’s response? Blame the media. Blame the Democrats. Blame immigrants, windmills, and maybe even Joe Biden. Anyone but himself.

Meanwhile, in Congress, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries took the floor in a marathon speech; not a filibuster as described by media, since no bill was up for a vote, but a desperate attempt to inject some reality into the conversation. Jeffries isn’t just speaking to his colleagues; he’s speaking to all of us, reminding Americans that while Trump drives the economy off a cliff, Republicans are standing by, too afraid, or too complicit to stop him.

So, what happens next? The markets are already crashing, businesses are putting hiring on hold, and regular Americans; those who don’t have offshore bank accounts, golden parachutes or a billionaire son-in-law, are bracing for impact. Rents? Higher. Wages? Stagnant. Inflation? About to get worse. This isn’t just bad policy; it’s an economic train wreck in slow motion.

And the worst part? Trump doesn’t care. He never has. As long as he can shift blame and distract his base with more lies, he considers it a win. But for the rest of us, there’s nothing funny about what’s happening. This is real. This is dangerous. And unless something changes fast, the only ones laughing will be the ultra-rich, while everyday Americans get stuck with the bill.

April Fools’ Day may be today, but the real joke is what’s coming tomorrow. And trust me; this is one prank that’s going to hurt.

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