Putin wants another phone call with BFF Trump...

Today's American News brings you news from Capitol Hill, which will avoid a government shutdown. Elon and DOGEsh*t are still unpopular and Trump wants his SCOTUS buddies to hamstring lower courts.

Ally Sammarco Mar 14

Happy Thursday, readers, and thank you for making Today’s American News your continued source for news and analysis on the circus that is American politics and entertainment.

Trump wants SCOTUS to weaken lower courts… Politico reports, “Trump is asking the Supreme Court to eliminate a key tool that lower courts have used to block various aspects of his agenda. In an emergency appeal Thursday, Trump asked the justices to rein in or shelve three nationwide injunctions lower-court judges have issued against his bid to end birthright citizenship. But his request could have repercussions far beyond the debate over the controversial citizenship plan.” This is one way for Trump to inflict cruel and legally suspect pain on Americans who are targeted by his policies, we suppose. PLEASE tell us there is some discretion in the bought-and-paid-for Supreme Court to not fall for their master’s bullsh*t in this case. Hopefully they have more respect for their branch of government than they have unwavering loyalty to Trump. We’ll be following this one closely.

(Trump greets conservative justices he appointed before his State of the Union address. Gross. Photo credit: AP)

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Putin agrees, sorta, to a ceasefire, but wants concessions and phone call with Trump… NBC News reports Russian President Vladimir Putin indicated today Russia is ready to agree to a ceasefire but that he wants more concessions from Ukraine. Umm, Vlad… that’s not how this works. Sign the damn deal. “We agree with the proposals to stop the hostilities,” Putin said, adding that Russia would support a pause in the fighting, although “there are issues that need to be discussed” likely through “a phone call with Trump.” A Trump-Putin phone call?! What could go wrong??? Ugh. Putin knows what he’s doing and will play Trump for a fool. Again. A very bad sign: NBC News reports in an exclusive that the Trump Administration capitulated to Kremlin demands that Lt. Gen. Keith Kellogg, Trump’s envoy for peace between Ukraine and Russia, be excluded from high-level talks. Since when does America let Russia dictate who is at our negotiating table? If anything, Russia’s request for Kellogg’s exclusion points to exactly why the retired general SHOULD be at that table. But yep, Trump did what Putin wanted. Of course.

(A feeble Vladimir Putin visits the Kursk region of Russia. Much of that region has been controlled by Ukraine for some time, an epic embarrassment for the Kremlin. Photo credit: AFP)

Schumer reluctantly backs Republican bill in order to avoid government shutdown… Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer announced Thursday night that he plans to vote to keep the government open,” ABC News reports, “signaling that there will almost certainly be enough Democratic votes to advance a House GOP funding bill before a shutdown deadline at the end of the day Friday. In remarks on the Senate floor, Schumer conceded a government shutdown is the worse outcome.” Schumer called the bill “very bad” and “deeply partisan” though not as bad as a shutdown, which he says would enable Trump “to take even much more power.” OUR TAKE: Schumer is probably right, but we hate it when Democrats don’t fight.

New poll finds voters don’t trust Musk or his DOGEsh*t… “Over half of voters believe Elon Musk and his Department of Government Efficiency are hurting the country, a new Quinnipiac University poll finds.” Politico notes “Fifty-four percent of voters believe DOGE, which the Trump administration has charged with slashing government spending, is harming the country. In comparison, 40 percent say Musk’s office is helping, according to the Quinnipiac poll. And 60 percent of voters disapprove of how Musk and DOGE deal with the federal workforce, while 36 percent approve. The poll, released Thursday, illustrates an unease among Americans as DOGE rips through the government and leaves voters grappling with real-world consequences, including hundreds of thousands of federal employees facing potential job cuts and diminished or shuttered public services at national parks.”

Today’s Buzz

Badass Brad Pitt drives 180mph in high-octane F1 movie trailer… Brad Pitt needed to be able to drive, and FAST, in order for the new F1 movie to work, the film’s director Joseph Kosinski shared with reporters. Indeed, Brad Pitt (who has an awesome name for a race car driver, by the way) was up for the challenge. “The upcoming racing movie, which sees the actor and his costar, Damson Idris (Snowfall), doing their own driving on the track,” Entertainment Weekly notes.

Today’s Furry Friend

Meet Joshua, a goat who inadvertently finished a half-marathon (and received a medal, of course!)

Thanks for reading Today’s American News and allowing us to help make sense of the chaos. Tomorrow is Friday, and we cannot wait for the weekend. Check back in with us tomorrow evening.

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