IOWA

 

Iowans, as you head out into the blizzard, remember that the guy Republicans want you to caucus for today will tomorrow face the beginning of his second trial for publicly and repeatedly defaming a woman he raped.

Also, remember last time republicans were in charge, you couldn't buy eggs, unemployment was at levels not seen since the Great Depression, you had to stand in line to buy a roll of toilet paper like a soviet proletarian, hospitals had to rent freezer trucks to store all the dead bodies, and the guy in the White House was telling you to put horse dewormer and lightbulbs up your butt while bragging about making women second class citizens.

What I'm saying here is: If a candidate demands you go out in a blizzard to vote for him even if you die, you should definitely not vote for that guy.

Ever.

That said, if you get nothing else from today, please enjoy watching Ron DeSantis go down in flames leaving his dreams as ravaged and empty as a Florida school library.

Jim Wright