Entire Kennedy Family Changes Last Name Aug 26 Tom Brenner for The Washington Post via Getty Images HYANNISPORT (The Borowitz Report)—Declaring that “enough is enough,” the entire Kennedy family is changing its last name, a spokesman for the former Kennedys announced on Monday. “It is with deep regret that we have chosen to no longer be known as ‘The Kennedys,’” the spokesman, formerly known as Harland Fitzgerald Kennedy, said. “Additionally, thousands of Kennedys around the world who are unrelated to us have made the same decision.” Explaining the impetus behind the switch, the spokesman said, “We could overlook the brain-worm and the dead bear, but this was the last straw.” He said that the ex-Kennedys had not yet selected a new last name, but added, “At this point, even Lecter would be better.”